Just when you think you can't go on

I've been so sad lately. I went home this past weekend for the wedding of my best friend of 25 years, it was a wonderful visit to see her parents and siblings that I basically grew up with. I felt right at home. Tom and I drove on to Chattanooga to visit my hometown and it brought back so many memories. I drove past my Daddy's office and the tears just rolled down my cheeks and there was no stopping it. I can't believe that he has been gone for 10 years. It's just not possible and weighs on my heart each day but none like the past few days. I miss him so very much. I always wonder what my life would have been like if he would have still been here. I have also been reminded of having a family of my own lately. My friends are all having babies now and it seems like I am the only one who isn't. I wonder sometimes if God placed me in the role of a teacher so that I would at least get to touch a child's life even if it isn't my own child. I don't think many people, not even Octomom can say, "I have reached 22 children today." I am reminded of this each day when I get hugs from little ones as they enter my room or when I high five a kid for writing a word during writer's workshop. No one can understand the power of a 5 year old unless they have been there with that child and seen him struggle and reach success. I am so proud of my role as a teacher but long to be able to teach my own child as well. But just when you think you can't go on, you feel the arms of a child wrap around your waist and you are reminded of God's love and the fact that one day those arms will be of your own child.